Tuesday, November 17, 2009

How Can I Be So Calm?

Yesterday I spoke with the lovely nun that runs the day care where Bam-Bam goes. She knows about his various issues - severe allergies, asthma, now epilepsy (we saw the neurologist and confirmed the diagnosis). Anyway, she said to me, "I don't know how you do it. How do you stay so calm when your child has so many problems?" Sister isn't known for having much of a filter. She just kind of blurts things out. It's actually a quality that endears her to me in a weird way. Perhaps I can relate.

So, my response?

We have to keep living life. The world doesn't stop turning because my son has some childhood maladies. And that is how we see them. I know (because I have hope) that eventually he will grow out of all or most of this and will be a perfectly normal person when he grows up. Maybe just a grown up guy that can't eat nuts. How can I get all freaked out over things that, in the grand scheme, are really minor? Yes, it is scary that he could eat food that could make his throat close up and go in to anaphylactic shock. Yes, he could have a bad seizure and hit his head. But then again, he might not. We can't stop the world. He can't miss out on childhood experiences just because of what "might" happen. That could be true for anyone and life is just too short for that. So maybe I cottle him a little at times. And maybe that is because in the back of my mind I am trying to make up for something that he might be missing because he has these strange idiosyncrasies. So what?

What about the kids who have cancer? Or cystic fibrosis? Or brain tumors? They truly don't get to have "normal" the way that Bam-Bam can. I am so thankful that allergies and seizures and such are ALL we have to deal with. This we can handle.

And we will. Thanks to all of you for your love and support.


  1. Well at least if you know what it is, you can deal with it. I'd say he's already normal. Almost everyone's got something wrong with them.

  2. About your comment on my blog about your dog...Watch her. She may be able to "tell" you before Bam-Bam has a seizure.

  3. Wow, this is an amazing post. I am in awe of your peace and positivity. It will all be okay, no matter what.

  4. Yep, he really is totally normal...just a few quirks. Mary, I will watch the dog. What a great point! And Maria - so much easier to be positive than doom & gloom. XO

  5. Good on you for maintaining such a positive outlook.

    Bam-Bam is indeed lucky to have you as his mom.xx

  6. What an excellent post. True positivity had such amazing powers and it's so, so good for the soul. As a mother and woman, if you can live positively and bright, your entire family will feed off of and benefit from that.

    There is far too much negativity in this world and when you look around, it can be ugly to see. I look at it like this: we have one life and the only moment that is guaranteed is this one. How can we know that and spend it with anything but love, beauty and positivity in our hearts?

    Your son is very lucky to have you as his mom. xo

  7. Thank you for this.

    This is so what I needed to read about. And you are so right.

    We can handle this.

  8. Hon, I've been wanting to talk to you in person but just haven't had a minute to call. Hopefully tomorrow. But I dind't want you to think I'm not praying for you and thinking about you guys. I'm so, so sorry that you had such a terrifying time and that you've had to go through all this. I'm so proud of you for the way you're handling it, though, and please know that I'm here for you if you need me. You know I'm a pray-er, and I'm praying!!

    Oh, and can we PLEASE get together soon????

    Love you heaps!!