I was inspired by something Melissa said on Rock & Drool about someone she knows who was on Dr. Phil and was a voice for the SAHM's out there (for the record, I also checked out this woman's blog). I would like to throw my voice out there as the voice of the working mom. What's the saying? Fair and balanced. Anyway, let me begin by saying that I did not see the episode of Dr. Phil and have no idea about the content but have some idea after looking at Jessica's blog. This is just a topic that has been near and dear for a while that I have meant to discuss and didn't think to do it before now.
So, yes, I am a working mom. I am a career woman. I enjoy my job. And you know what - I probably don't HAVE to work. I could cut corners and not work. But I want to. And I don't have fancy cars or a fancy house or huge bills to pay, though we would be scraping a bit if I didn't work as I make more money than my dear, underpaid government lawyer husband. I have a career. My kid goes to day care every single day. And I like that he goes there, though I do miss him and it's not always easy. And, don't get me wrong, if I became independently wealthy tomorrow, I would probably drop everything and stay home with him and go on lots of fun vacations and do lots of things. But I'm not independently wealthy....and I am not suggesting that SAHM's are even remotely in that position. The thing is, I like my job. I like going to work each day. I like knowing that Bam-Bam is socializing with other kids, learning lots of things that I would never think to teach him. I think he gets great value from day care. And NO, I am not saying that out of guilt. I actually do really believe that. And that is my right.
I also realize that there would be great advantages to having Bam-Bam stay at home with me. I get that. More time for bonding. Being there for certain milestones, etc....Here's the part I don't get....why, why, why do some mothers find it necessary to belittle other mothers for not doing what they do? What is up with these Nazi SAHM's who think that they are so superior to working moms? That somehow we aren't like REAL moms...that we just live this life of luxury (which so off base!). Conversely, why are there working mom's who think that SAHM's just sit on their asses all day watching their "stories" and are bored, sad little creatures?
Let me tell all you ladies something - get off your fuckin' high horses. All of you! On both sides. Not one of you is better than me and I'm not better than you. Not any one of us is more or less of a mother than the other. Maybe what we should really be doing is supporting each other as mothers and women. Maybe we should acknowledge that we both have a difficult job to do as mom's. That is, raising our kids the best damn way we know how.
I do not lead a life of leisure or luxury. I work hard. Really hard. So do you. I think the last thing that either of us needs is to be judged for what we do or don't do. And then I wonder to myself - why do some people find it so necessary to be judgmental? If they were really secure in what they're doing and didn't need validation that it's right, well, then they wouldn't have to put others down in the first place. Just my take. And, yes, I've had therapy before. That's why I use fancy words like validation.
So, all you bitches out there....get a grip. Stop acting like bitches and support your fellow women. None of us sees what anyone else is doing in their homes day in and day out. And we should not judge each other or say that each others kids are getting messed up for one reason or another. I'm not going to sit here and justify what I do by telling you all of the hard work that I do. That's not the point and I don't really care if you agree with my choices or not. The point is, why can't we all just learn to appreciate each other and stop judging each other. And, ok, I'll stop calling you bitches.